#48

The first time I did not wonder
The second and the third I saw it growing
In silence and beloved moments as I realized what I was under
Untouchable and innocent as I go by
And through the days and nights of thunder
I stared deep into her frighten eyes
And through the sickness underneath the earth
Overflow of emotions.
Build myself as a wall and I would never let her go
In the hot, dark underground she was the light
Gone as her radiant glare closes with the fever
In the heat of her soft body
I struggle to remain silent
Deep in desire I reach to her lips
Whispering my feelings
As days go by she can’t hear my crying
Echoing alone beneath us where I left myself dying.

Mixed out of key

It starts with a slow progression as it peaks the chorus

And falls back again

As the seconds go by in harmony

In an oscillating synthetic wave

I miss you, and the chorus remains the same.

And to the middle part, the strings arise

But the volume below the peak,

Still, we’re loud enough to say goodbye

Rises the chorus again, as the growing explosions passes by

By the lead and the harmony

The slave and the master

They wish you could remain with them

It’s not the same as we thought it would be.

They asked if they could live forever, but only the strongest remains

As we turn the pitch, the tune seems to amend

And the equalized frequencies needed to change.

Or they’d mess with the progressivity.

As the decay grows slightly we can see what’s coming on

The cathedral we seem to be dissipates in delay

I wonder in reverse

The chorus changed and the arpeggios shine beautifully

We thought it would never end

As slowly, slowly, our melody fades away.

And I'm here, to remind you of f the mess you left when you went away.

Temper

Design never ending mazes
Ascend towers bigger than gods
It’s in your unconsciousness beauty
When the lights go out.
And the horror in the darkness cold embrace
In a newborn insanity, the calm before the storm or the deepest melancholic of the aftermath
Are you the feeling?
Are you deceiving?
Are you the fall in my mind?
Are you screaming?
Are you the instinct?
Are you the crossings in my back?
Are you the idealized stance?
Are you the terror in the moonlight?
Are you the question?
Are you the answer?
Where have we been all this time?

Morning Star

On the last second I stared at the night

The city lights, the stars.

I won’t go back.

And I blew down the last candle on this hopeless romance.

All the grace and the defiant gone with the flame.

One dark room.

Before the stars vanished and the dawn came I was gone

I’d hold these stars and swallow their light

So they would shine within so you could find me

If only I could find you tonight and tell every word I prayed upon a mirror

From the commotions to the greatest of the elegies.

I’d grieve upon the lost one inside us

As the first light reaches the peak of the sky, I was gone.

For the lost.

You said you dreamt about me once, and never again.
There are no acquaintances on your mind when you go to sleep
And the same is for me, but I still know who you are.
Many were the nights you searched for someone you would know
If I was there I could tell.
I thought I saw your smile, thought I dreamt about your face,
I swear I heard your soothing voice, echoing in my mind
I swear I felt your tears falling on your skin
Drowning me in every elegy you’d sing
We all died that night
Though we became immortal

Now I know, you’ll never find me again.

I cried on this one

The Nightcrawler

Come and take me away
You’re my greatest chance
Come and take me away
In the night, in the dark, by surprise
When I’m least waiting
And asleep

Come and take me away
I know is what you want to
Did you really try?
I didn’t meant to hurt you
But you scared me with your touch
And burnt me to my bones
Was I really dreaming?

Come and take me away
So I won’t feel the pain
I’m not scared to go if this is the way I’m suppose to
Just don’t let me look back in regret.

I want to believe you’re real
Prove me for once.
Come and take me away.

The blackout / Tone

In darkness they followed us with their blank eyes
In darkness they swallowed what's inside of us
As the rain hit the window's sill I saw what's left of us
Much more than before, much less than tomorrow

And it's harder to breath after these screams
It's easier to run wih nothing to lose behind
The grayest shades of darkness and the coldest shades of blue
The shivering sounds of silver
And as our stars go out lost in the above
In the snowblind white.
As they're wrapped in gold and glitter.

99

I found my unconsciousness so beautiful
I placed myself above such well crafted pillars and expected them to fall
As they turned to dust I thought I would never put them up again
It hit me by surprise that I didn’t fell the pain
That I didn’t saw it all going down
Suddenly I found myself only
Lonely.
And thought I said that it would never swallow me
Thought I prayed that it would never swallow me
I set a road and made sure to keep the dust away
As it all bereft of it
And thought I weary by the war I placed myself into
I’m walking straight in line just to find where it curls
And I’ll turn to the opposite side
Just so, in my last breath, I can find a small part of me that once left and never returned.
Just so I can find the map for turning back on time
And still lost I feel, closer I get.

The boy in a box

There’s no reason outside
I’ve been laced with fragile warnings all over the place
Will you respect it?
If you ever take me out of the box
Where you’ll place me?
If I’m broken
Will you replace me?
Or will you fix me?
I rather stay than see for myself.

Dystopia

Breath in and turn away from the sun coming on from the window
The truth was slapped on your face
And in between the lines
And you wasn’t even there to hold you tight
To move your legs and leave
And you insist to keep on going
When even your subconscious and your supposed-to-be utopia tells you there’s no way
You keep on thinking, oblivious from the warnings of your mind
You keep on fighting the tide.
And everything around and inside you throws more water
That you swallow,
But then you’ll drown.
And you’ll realize again that they were right all that time.

Mislead

He said it burns
It sticks deep into his flesh
It’s sour like the rain falling outside
It’s sweet as the blood that falls as he shivers
The seconds his gaze turned to me
I know I’d follow him anywhere
He had nothing to lose
And so did I
But at the moment the grazes and scars faded
We both went our separate ways
He had nothing to lose
But I

Perfect Stance / A million points of ligt

Staring at yourself you see
What I meant to be
Eternity sounds so fine now
And the feelings
Our hollow eyes in hunger will swallow

And when the moon shines in the sky
Loom in perfectly sentimental tone
We’ll sing forever

And may be perfect
And may be the worst of our time
Five hundred days
Six hundred nights
Thousands millions of seconds you stayed
And we had become what we so much loved

Our time in an hourglass
Our feelings in a bottle
Our life in a choir’s book
The entire world will stop to see
It’ll seem all right when the choir starts to sing
And the bells in perfect synchrony

And may be perfect
And may be the worst of our time
Five hundred days
Six hundred nights
Thousands millions of seconds you stayed
And we had become what we so much loved

Hiding Numb3rs

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Waiting Call

When they took you home, did you remember what you said?

Your absence is taking over this place.

You lost your scene and we had to move forward or the movie would never end.

What they said doesn’t mind now or ever.

It’s our time worth.

I can’t be happy, sad, overloaded without anyone noticing

Neither do you.

And now you’re inside the phone booth anxiously waiting for an answer.

And I am seeing you from here.

But you won’t get any answer cause you never made the question.

And the question is…

…Would you turn back the time to save your world?

Tripping III

Mindless

3:37 and I’m still awake, soon there’s going to be another driver change
This insomnia is deluding me, seeing things, hearing things.
I can’t believe I’m actually writing something.
It’s so dark right now, it seems so cold outside.
I’m somehow driven away from everything.
I see darkness forming shapes and dancing around.
I’m so tired.
The stars are faded by the black clouds and everything seems so lost.
It’s lonelier than before, the other cars never shown up.
I just wish I could sleep. Close my eyes and let these thoughts slip away.

Help me, find me.

Tripping II

No signs of Life.

We are alone in the road now, I suddenly feel uncomfortable
Its 2:37 and darkness is everywhere. Still some light remains on the car panel, on its flashlights and on the stars.
The never ending lullaby is starting to affect me, the melody wrapping me in such a pleasant way it is powerful even thought the sound is low.
A new driver, but the same expression remains.
Even thought everyone’s around me, I miss those cars. It seems like there’s something else apart from us, some life.
I wonder where they are now. Are they home?
Are they awake? Are they alive? Did they reach something?
Even thought we didn’t hang too far, I wonder.
We passed by some houses, but they were left behind by its owners.
Waiting to crumble, watching every soul that passes by, waiting for someone to come.
Waiting for some life inside.
I’m tired but I can’t seem to fall asleep.
Too much on my mind, even though I don’t remind any of them. I can’t think of them.
They just flash by as the streetlights.

show me the light, give me the way away

Tripping I

Deer’s eyes.

Past 2AM, some are watching the trees and cars passing by, some are sleeping
Still I can hear the stereo as low as it is, the music is like a danceable lullaby.
The tired driver is quiet and his hands on the wheel move automatically, but his mind’s far away. The straight road is taking us as far as his eyes can see.
I saw some deer’s eyes, scared as they run back to the wild.
Our clothes are messed up, or skin dirt and our bones tired, at least for me.
It seems like we are the only ones in the world, us and the others 3 cars around.
Driving straight. No one with the strength to accelerate.
I hear a snore from my back that slowly fades away.
A whispering conversation, a goodnight.
In a moment we will stop and wave goodbye to the other cars. Someone else will drive and we will find our way into the night.

we are the dying ones right now

Yellow Pillow

“I’ll leave”, I said, “There’s nothing else to be done here.”
You cried some words, but those were deafened by the yellow pillow
That horrible, not matching, yellow pillow you insisted to keep
And I stand as a final moment, a brief goodbye, but you hardly moved to see.
Was this everything you wished for?
And then I close your door, there was nothing else to be done there.
In my return, you and your arms and your embrace
Gently. Sweetly. Sickly bathed in love.
And the yellow pillow that you insist to say it reminds me.
As some kind of compliment.
And another night I’ll stay for dinner and maybe for desert.
As we go deeper and deeper and everything moving slowly
And fast, motion in everything.
So we’ll be by that yellow pillow.
What was it meant to be?
I am tempted and swallowed over and over again.
So I’ll let myself down and stay, over and over again.
As it make sense. Not to you
Nothing ever makes sense to you.
I’ll haunt the yellow pillow with my essence
Then you’ll never forget, and then you’ll never leave me again.
You’ll be there. Over and over again
Over and over again.
With that yellow pillow to hold your head.

Claustrophobic Anthem

Repeat with me
Wide open space
Breath with me
Wide open space
Don’t think of anything else
Wide open space
Don’t break the thought
Wide open space
Don’t leave me
Wide open space
Don’t let the rope go
Wide open space
Listen to your heartbeat
Wide open space
You are safe now
Wide open space
Wide lonely space

Pastel Painted Street

Where every moment remains
And where time has made no impact
Where nothing is destroyed and nothing changes
The colors in pure harmony
Dusted onto the surface
Painting kids screaming in joy
By the river melting into the ocean
Of its own shade
With the bridges to connect
The houses to watch and keep
From the rain that never ever fell
And the hunger
The never ending past
The days and years and seconds
The disorder and fantasy
The future that will never reach
Every mixed pigment
And every moment remains the same

Image Resonance

Close your eyes if only for a moment
And may you see
It's just what you need
Close your eyes if only for a lifetime
And somewhere else you'll find what you left behind.
Close your eyes in a second
And you'll feel what you meant to.
Breathe in and you'll find
This is everything you once dreamt of.
And if you gaze the stars
It will all make sense
Till your senses fail into nothing but a haze
Finally you will change the weather
Into something else for your quest for peace
And all the sky will open up for you to see
Everything that you prayed for
And all your feelings will pass
So nothing else will matter
If you are complete

Hazy

There’s something good (or bad) on the fog
You never see what’s coming to you.
Nothing else than the endless white and the blurry images.
Nothing predictable
These moments you realize
With water in your eyes and on your clothes
There’s no way you can fool yourself
People can’t see you but neither can you...
And if you wait they can find you
If you go they can lose you
If you wait they can never see you
If you go you may find they.
There’s nothing you can do on the fog
But go on your own.
And wait till the mist is gone.
But you can never be sure.

So long.

................so long
. why does it takes SO long
...................what if I WAIT for you
.Am I the ONLY one?
.......So clear...see if it BREAKS
....SECRETS........in two.....turn your soul out
...Its like I could ALWAYS be.......
.So long...Am I the ONLy One.....make this ALL
...........SUDDENLY.........I TURN around
.
.What if I BREAKS in two......Am I the ONLY one
........So long..........What if?
...............FORGET your going.....here
.Its like I could ALWAYS be
........Show me there..........I think you know
.Why does.....So long..............so long
.........So long........what if
.....So CLEAR........It's like.......I could
........FORGET your........going.......ALWAYS BE
....................Suddenly
.
.So long. So long. So long
.........................I ALWAYS COULD BE THERE
.............Am I not the ONLY one
............The ONLY ONLY ONLY
....................one
.............Did I tell YOU?
.
...............SOMETIMES IT HURTS.
.
.
.
. music by collide.

Chapter 0.2: Rainfall

We waited inside the house as the teardrops came falling from the sky.

We watched silently as the grass swallowed the water in greed.

The river was moving faster in anger, as the fishes swam to its deep

The insects that were left on the outside fled in despair and tried to find shelter in the search for a better life

The ones that couldn’t fly were taken by the flooding.

They kicked and screamed but no one seemed to hear

Or ignored them and watched as their lives were washed away by the water

The ones that survived fought against the cold wind

Some crawled into the cracks on the walls in hope.

Some followed the light and burned away.

In the middle of their suffering you said

“There’s something comforting on the rain”

I wondered if they would survive as you involved me in a warm bear-stamped blanket

“They’ll be ok.” You said as you were reading my mind. “Everything will be OK”

And now I wander.

Did we drown ourselves that day?

The immortality of the crab.

You which have been graced with the eternal life
Are you pleased with it?
Or it’s just a curse?
Would you like to see the other side of the ocean?
Are you afraid of being cradled on impossibilities?
And seeing life as another tide for you?
To live a million days and a million nights fighting by the shore?
Would you jump into the maelstrom just to taste the end?
I’m terrified for you my crab friend.
May your red shell burn intensely and free you from these bubbles
For once.
And may you wait for me.

Soon, we shall live forever.

Chapter 0: The pound

Remind me when you took me to the pound.

I persisted to follow you

And we went down the hill and through some trees

It was a hot and humid day

The heavy foliage covered the sun but not the intense heat.

The sweat dripped from our faces and our muscles seemed to give up at anytime.

We could hear insects singing what you said to be “beautiful cries of elegy”

You insisted for me to keep my mouth shut

And four years later I still keep the secret.

You always needed sometime to be alone.

We reached to the place

The small pound leaded into an even smaller waterfall

How can that be?

We sat on the least mud covered spot and you stared quiet at the sky covered by the leaves as we heard the sound of the water falling its way.

“When it’s all over, will you remember me?” You asked.

I didn’t know exactly what you meant at that time

“Yes” I said anyway. You stared at me; your expression was blank and lifeless.

“So please, forget me.”

It kills me everyday.